Friday 24 June 2011

"The Selecta Belle"

Recently we received a very large stack of old Canadian Hereford Digests and I was looking through a couple of them today and I came across a little story that I found to be very cute and funny from the 1985 Digest that I would like to share with you.

The Selecta Belle
By: Delita Belle
About mid morning Max appeared in the doorway.... "Could you help me sort some bulls?" he asked.... I was up to my elbows in bread dough, but the thought of leaving the house for a few minutes seemed very attractive... Quickly I finished punching the bread, slipped into my coveralls and rubber boots and, like an obedient little dog, I followed Max out to the corral.

Sorting the bulls was always an exciting time... This was when we selected those animals that qualified for the 'Bull Market.' The 'Culls' were sold for beef... Max always made me feel as if he valued my opinion. As he extolled the merits of every animal, preparing me for a decision, I tried to point out some of the qualities I liked. Max listened politely, pausing briefly as he waited for me to finish, hen he would explain to me that maybe those long eyelashes and cute little curls in the bulls tail weren't so important in selecting a bull....

I really began to wonder why he had asked me for my valued opinion. Maybe he was felling sorry for me, since the last selection I had made turned out to be a fizzle... He was probably giving me one more chance to shape up... My thoughts turned to that fateful day.

The Five Star Sale was on and Max was having one of those days when the vet calls and the calving problems in our own pasture had put the cap on any chance of his leaving the territory for a production sale.... He must have looked me over and decided my inefficiency would perhaps be less noticeable at the sale...

So... armed with a list of careful instructions on how to select a female, I drove off to choose a heifer at the sale... I was so pleased that Max had such confidence in me. I was really going to make him proud of me...

After spending a glowing hour or so, visiting with other breeders and their wives, looking over a large selection of beautiful females from the herds of five breeders, I stuffed myself with delicious roast beef, apple pie and confidence... I felt I was well prepared for the important selection of a female for our herd...

I was filled with so much excitement and importance as I sat in the stand beside my friend, Doreen. We had so much news to exchange about the activities of our unbelievable kids.... We really missed seeing the first dozen or so females pass through the ring...

A scurry in the show ring suddenly snapped us to attention. One very nervous heifer had decided she had enough of the poking, tugging, and pushing, and was making her wishes known. At the moment her wish was to have everyone out of the ring.... Everyone! As the last man scrambled over the fence she snorted furiously and whipped around a few times to make sure no one was sneaking back...

"Well, now! There's a spirited princess for you!" bawled the auctioneer. "Isn't she a sweet, lively thing?" And as she stood their in the middle of the ring, her head high, her eyes bright with anger, her body in rigid defiance, I felt a kinship with her.... Yes! She was a sweet, lively thing!... And as her eyes met mine a spark of sympathy seemed to light between us... "What am I bid for this beauty?" begged the auctioneer. "Do I hear five? Make it ten?" Up went my catalogue and Princess was mine!

I drove home on cloud nine with Princess churning around and around in the back of my truck... Max met me at the loading chute. He peered anxiously into the back, not saying a word... Silently he opened the back gate and Princess tore out of the box like a nipped hound and never stopped until she hit the fence...

"What on earth did you buy that for?" whispered Max unbelievably. As my delight in my purchase faded and the weight of Max's disappointment settled heavily upon me, my mind darted around for an excuse...

"She had such beautiful eyelashes!" I whispered weakly...

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